Top 25 Opening Themes for Fall 2012

Perhaps it's more due to the expectations I had assigned to the fall season after such a fruitful spring session, but I had high hopes that we'd get some creative approaches to the openers this season. Overall, while I think the music itself has gotten easier on the ear and catchier in the brain, I'm finding myself sighing more after the first ninety seconds of the episode.

I'm uncertain if it is due to the content of the shows. Long-distance hikes such as Space Brothers and Gintama' have resigned themselves to glancing out the window and appreciating the scenery, while shows granted a second season such as Sword Art Online and Medaka Box are sleepwalking, plenty satisfied with their content keeping the viewer's interest. Outside of the eternally-enjoyable Polar Bear Café and the Jojo's Bizarre Adventure remake, all of the shows in the Top 10 are first-time appearances.

The decent shows have managed to make ripples, but I can guarantee you this: the bad shows sank like shrapnel. You won't see To-Love-Ru Darkness and Girls und Panzer in these rankings, but you will see a show I wish we could scrub from the collective fanbase's memory, only for its incredible failure. I'm sure you've already guessed by now.

With that, I give you the hardest rankings I've ever had to sit through—the Top 25 opening themes of Fall 2012.

(Clicking the title of the song will bring you to the YouTube'd OP; clicking the artist will bring you to their PV for the song.)

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Ixion Saga DT: The Trollingest OP Ever?

Kid plays video game. Kid entranced by a virtual heroine coming onto him. Kid "falls" into the video game to become a true warrior, eventually thwarting his clever enemy by punting him in the junk with a spiked boot.

Before you laugh at this premise behind Ixion Saga DT and call it immature, perhaps you should follow the lyrics to the actual song. Go ahead and access Crunchyroll to follow the opening theme, "DT Suteru" ("I'll lose my DT") by Golden Ixion Bomber DT. Go ahead. I can wait. Just be sure to note that our hero is swinging a sword that turns into a thick-tipped giant hammer when he holds it juuuuust right.

Getting a little bit of a hint that there's something trolling under the surface of this sub-standard adventure anime? Maybe the lyrics might give you a hint. Just be aware that the underlined lyrics were what was written on the screen, while the lyrics underneath are the actual sung song.


「戦士の称号」捨てる                 I will give up my title as a knight!
ＤＴ捨てる                                     I will lose my DT!

僕に戦士の称号捨てさせてよ       Let me lose my knightly title.
僕に「ＤＴ］捨てさせてよ           Let me lose my DT.

普通の男に戻りたいな                   I want to become a regular guy again.
おとこになりたいな                         I want to become a man.

とても悲願しい運命                        My extremely long-cherished fate
とてもかなしいたからもの              My extremely woeful treasure

宿敵に返上したい                          I will return that to my enemy.
きみにささげたい                            I will give it all to you.

次元転移したときから　強く引力れ合い  Since the time I jumped dimensions, I've felt a strong pull
であったときから　強くひかれ合い          Since the time I met you, I've felt a strong attraction,

眠るたび悪夢をみた                      And when I sleep, I have nightmares.
眠るたびゆめをみた                      And when I sleep, I dream.

ハイペリオンの覚醒にうなされてしまうよ         I've groaned in my sleep from my awaking Hyperion.
からだのほてりにうなされてしまうよ                 I've groaned in my sleep from my body's warmth.

オーラの冷まし方をおしえて         Tell me how to calm my aura.
ねつの冷まし方をおしえて            Tell me how to cool my heat.

どうしてだろう　宿敵と対決すれば対決するほどに    Why is it that the more I fight with my enemy,
どうしてだろう　きみをしればしるほどに                      Why is it that the more I know about you,

僕はもう　アルマギアが戦闘状態になる         the more I'm thrust into Armagia's open warfare?
僕はもう　あいつがかたくなる                          the more that part of me gets so hard?

僕に戦士の称号捨てさせてよ         Let me lose my knightly title.
僕に「ＤＴ］捨てさせてよ             Let me lose my DT.

主君の右腕と決別さ                        This is goodbye to my master's right-hand man.
みぎてとさよならさ                           This is goodbye to my right hand.

ライバル同士で戦おう　決着は      Let us fight as equal rivals. The conclusion to it all...
ふたりでしよう　これからは             Let us do this together. And from now on...

宿敵を逃さない                                 I will not overlook my enemy.
きみをはなさない                              I will not let you go.

宿敵と対戦しかない                         I can only fight my enemy.
きみとはなれない                             I can never leave you.

Can you perhaps guess what "DT" means then? (Check below.) Well, considering the main villain (whose initials "ED" could now stand for "erectile dysfunction") basically had his balls literally busted by the hero, I think you can tell.

* DT = "doutei", the Japanese word for "virginity".