Saturday, October 20, 2012

[Anime Survivor 2] Final: Binbôgami Ga! vs. Humanity Has Declined

It is the spectacle, the enamoring uncertainty, which lurks in Survivor that has made it last for such a long time. All of the competitors are so unknown that first glances do no good at predicting a winner. The weak may be able to outsmart the strong, the strong may be able to out-muscle the weak, and those in the middle may end up victorious due to both eating each other in the process.

That apparently isn't the case with Anime Survivor. If anything, this was more a Lord of the Flies approach to survival, the weak constantly getting picked off each week, while the strong survived due to momentum (the strength of previous episodes) or genetics (how well the staff had performed in other shows). Those shows that had a bad premise didn't stand a chance at making it to the final round, while those with weak plot lines were exposed in the middle of a feeble season.

Really, Anime Survivor was a miserable idea I came up with. Better than BTOOOM!, perhaps, but certainly worse than Battle Royale.

And that leaves us two shows that many predicted would have legs this past summer. It was all between Natsuyuki Rendezvous, Binbôgami Ga!, and Humanity Has Declined (Jinrui wa Suitai Shimashita, or hashtagged as #Jintai) from the starting gate, and while shows like Kokoro Connect and Moyashimon Returns pulled hammies halfway through the race, these three showed staying power. That is, until Natsuyuki Rendezvous displayed one of the weaker dramatic endings and collapsed yards from the finish line.

So which show—Binbôgami Ga! or Humanity Has Declined—wins in this photo finish in the last ever failed Anime Survivor experiment? Well, let's just say that the cameras weren't required for the end.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Ixion Saga DT: The Trollingest OP Ever?

Kid plays video game. Kid entranced by a virtual heroine coming onto him. Kid "falls" into the video game to become a true warrior, eventually thwarting his clever enemy by punting him in the junk with a spiked boot.

Before you laugh at this premise behind Ixion Saga DT and call it immature, perhaps you should follow the lyrics to the actual song. Go ahead and access Crunchyroll to follow the opening theme, "DT Suteru" ("I'll lose my DT") by Golden Ixion Bomber DT. Go ahead. I can wait. Just be sure to note that our hero is swinging a sword that turns into a thick-tipped giant hammer when he holds it juuuuust right.

Getting a little bit of a hint that there's something trolling under the surface of this sub-standard adventure anime? Maybe the lyrics might give you a hint. Just be aware that the underlined lyrics were what was written on the screen, while the lyrics underneath are the actual sung song.

「戦士の称号」捨てる                 I will give up my title as a knight!
DT捨てる                                     I will lose my DT!

僕に戦士の称号捨てさせてよ       Let me lose my knightly title.
僕に「DT]捨てさせてよ           Let me lose my DT.

普通の男に戻りたいな                   I want to become a regular guy again.
おとこになりたいな                         I want to become a man.

とても悲願しい運命                        My extremely long-cherished fate
とてもかなしいたからもの              My extremely woeful treasure

宿敵に返上したい                          I will return that to my enemy.
きみにささげたい                            I will give it all to you.

次元転移したときから 強く引力れ合い  Since the time I jumped dimensions, I've felt a strong pull
であったときから 強くひかれ合い          Since the time I met you, I've felt a strong attraction,

眠るたび悪夢をみた                      And when I sleep, I have nightmares.
眠るたびゆめをみた                      And when I sleep, I dream.

ハイペリオンの覚醒にうなされてしまうよ         I've groaned in my sleep from my awaking Hyperion.
からだのほてりにうなされてしまうよ                 I've groaned in my sleep from my body's warmth.

オーラの冷まし方をおしえて         Tell me how to calm my aura.
ねつの冷まし方をおしえて            Tell me how to cool my heat.

どうしてだろう 宿敵と対決すれば対決するほどに    Why is it that the more I fight with my enemy,
どうしてだろう きみをしればしるほどに                      Why is it that the more I know about you,

僕はもう アルマギアが戦闘状態になる         the more I'm thrust into Armagia's open warfare?
僕はもう あいつがかたくなる                          the more that part of me gets so hard?

僕に戦士の称号捨てさせてよ         Let me lose my knightly title.
僕に「DT]捨てさせてよ             Let me lose my DT.

主君の右腕と決別さ                        This is goodbye to my master's right-hand man.
みぎてとさよならさ                           This is goodbye to my right hand.

ライバル同士で戦おう 決着は      Let us fight as equal rivals. The conclusion to it all...
ふたりでしよう これからは             Let us do this together. And from now on...

宿敵を逃さない                                 I will not overlook my enemy.
きみをはなさない                              I will not let you go.

宿敵と対戦しかない                         I can only fight my enemy.
きみとはなれない                             I can never leave you.

Can you perhaps guess what "DT" means then? (Check below.) Well, considering the main villain (whose initials "ED" could now stand for "erectile dysfunction") basically had his balls literally busted by the hero, I think you can tell.

* DT = "doutei", the Japanese word for "virginity".

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Top 25 Ending Themes for Summer 2012

To tell the truth, part of me didn't want to do these rankings. I honestly never made it as far as the ending theme in some shows (Dakara Boku wa H ga Dekinai, Ebiten), so it's required some forced research. That may be why some shows fell through the cracks this season, but in all honesty I'm rating the OPs higher than the EDs this summer. There was just part of me that appreciated the beginning of some shows instead of their ending.

What did I see a lot of? Scrolling. Miles and miles of top-to-bottom scrolling that probably didn't need to be done. Hey, I suppose it beats "running shots" by a mile, but at least five shows tried that pan.

What didn't I see a lot of? Good endings. Apart from the Top 5, a good season may have left a lot of these endings off the chart. I suppose the producers were as sleepy as we all were this summer.

So let's get on with it already. Here are your Top 25 EDs of Summer 2012. Cuddle up to them and get some good Z's.